Every so often I participate in Five Minute Friday – and I usually participate on Monday. It’s a time to write for five minutes on the given word without editing, without questioning, maybe without making sense, just five minutes to write. Here is this week’s offering – and it’s more a musing on my part than a statement…
I’ve spoken to so many mothers who feel lost. Lost in diapers, colic, breastfeeding, cooking, cleaning… lost in a whirlwind of a house that they wonder who they are, where they went and what they’re doing. They have lost a sense of ambition, of impact, and -dare I say it – they lost a sense of purpose?
And they immediately feel guilty for confessing such feelings because what could be better or more purposeful than caring for the children God gave you. Children are a gift, they repeat from rote memory. Their lives are a blessing – and I think they say it more to themselves than to me as if they’re trying to remember something they once believed, but the feeling has been lost.
So many mother lost a sense of self as they have set aside their personal dreams (career, art, or calling) in order to parent those little people who so desperately need them. There can be little sense that the future will be any different, because the last several weeks have been monotonously the same.
And there is a loss in perspective.
Our culture teaches that we women should have it all. Lean in. Don’t lose anything, but cling to it all because only then will you have happiness, contentment. And for the women who can’t do that – they feel that they’ve lost in the race of life.
But what if the culture is wrong?
What if we lose most when we refuse to accept this time as a season? A season of less productivity and more snuggles? A time of messy tables, dirty chairs, sticky floors, and healthy relationships?
What if we allow ourselves to see this season and to “find ourselves” again in a few years? To begin writing, or painting, or achieving, or…. (you fill in the blank) so that right now we do not feel that we are losing, rather that we have gained exactly what we have, right where we are, and what is lost will one day again be found.