Home » Connecting with God » 31 Days of Connecting » How God Cared for Me

How God Cared for Me

Day 20 of 31 Days of Connecting

The other day, in a fit of exhaustion, I posted a link to my sermon on trusting God. I promised that part of my story (which starts here) is part of the sermon… and it is.

But since I know most people do not have 30+minutes to listen to a sermon, I will try to tell the next part of my story here. Now. For those of you who did listen, thank you! What an honor.

Now where was I…?

Oh yes, God taught me that He wanted a deeper relationship with me.

About a month after that conversation with God in my car, I was still grieving. I was still uncovering the hurt I had buried, the distrust I felt, and the fear I had. I was starting to see other misunderstandings of God, like:

I believed God was grading me.

I believed God expected me to be perfect.

I believed God was punishing us financially because of something I must have done.

Yeah… that last one sucked. It was incredibly painful. After all, I had given up everything to follow his call, Tim had taken a huge risk in starting his own business, and there we were, barely making ends meet. But the alternative to my understanding was that God wasn’t providing for us financially because He wanted us to suffer for Him. Or He just wouldn’t provide because He doesn’t.

All bad ideas. All gross misunderstandings of the God who gave himself for us.

But I didn’t see that then. I just saw our grocery lists, our small pay checks, and our unpaid bills.

In April I went to a conference for pastors in our denomination and through the keynote speaker, God broke through the lies I embraced.

Together we read 1 Peter 3:7 which states Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. I know this verse by heart. I’ve sung it at summer camp, memorized it for youth group and heard it preached before.

But the preacher restated it: The God of the Universe has unlimited resources at his disposal, will you let him care for you?

Day 18

I felt my heart pounding in my chest as God called out to me. I realized how abandoned I felt by Him. How I thought He left us, financially. And the question rang out, “Will you let him care for you?” Followed by the fear in my heart: Would He care for me?

I went to my host home that evening praying and over the next several days I felt Love prompting me to trust Him. To ask Him for what I felt we needed and the promise that He would provide. I told my husband what God was prodding me to do and He said, “Good. Do it.”

How much do you need?

I thought… I hesitated…

$5,000?

Ok.

Really? Ok?! … $7,000?

Don’t push it.

I have never felt so sure in my life that God would answer my request. $5,000 sounded like a ton of money. I saw us catching up on our electrical and hospital bills. I saw the credit card being partially paid off. I saw myself breathing easily.

The next month came and went. I wasn’t sure how we did, financially. It felt good, but I didn’t take the time to check. I was too nervous! But then my husband texted me.

In May of 2013, our income added up to $5,000.84.

I couldn’t believe it. Numb with distrust, I thought surely that was a coincidence. But the more I considered the amount – the exactness of it – the almost to the penny answer to the prayer I had prayed – the more I was convinced it was God showing me He provides.

I can scrape and worry and count and stress and do all I can do to try to control things, but in the end He cares for me.

He cares for me.

We have not continued to receive $5,000.84 each month. In fact, many months we have been back at the bottom of the barrel, again being creative to get by. But you know what? I’m not afraid any more. God cares for me. He provides for me. He loves me.

I know that now.

I struggle trusting God with money, what do you struggle with entrusting to God? A relationship? Children? Career? An Illness? The God of the Universe desires to care for YOU. Will you let Him?

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do all this through him who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:12-13)

31 days of connecting

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27 thoughts on “How God Cared for Me

  1. Thank you so much for your story – sorry, I didn’t get the time (or take the time) to listen to your sermon; but I bet it’s a GREAT one. I loved your words, and your trust during that time when he did provide the $5,000. I’ve never been that specific; but I have had many times when I prayed and he provided! GOD IS GOOD!

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    • Thanks, Barbara! Don’t worry, I understand the time thing. I just thought I’d offer it. And I had never had that happen either! God was soooo gracious to me. Thanks for reading!

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  2. I am with you in the struggle of trusting God on money issues. It seems like financial worries are so earthly, so beneath him. Thank you for the reminder to trust God in everything. EVERYTHING.

    I particularly appreciate this gem of wisdom in your post: “But the preacher restated it: The God of the Universe has unlimited resources at his disposal, will you let him care for you?”

    Yes, I will let him care for me. In everything.

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  3. Thank you for sharing your heart and how God provided for you. I know He can and He does provide for us (and He has definitely done that in my life and the life of my family in the past), but I’ll admit that I am going through a season of distrust of Him. To be honest, I feel like He absolutely abandoned me in my darkest hour and although I know cognitively that this isn’t true, He has yet to allow me to feel His presence, so I still feel very much abandoned. I know feelings change and that, as my big brother says, they’re not revelatory of Truth, but when your world is falling to pieces and He seems to vanish from sight and hearing and everything else, it’s hard to really summon the desire to trust that He cares for me. It’s also hard when I’m still walking through that dark hour and there is no end in sight to trust that He is with me and walking through it with me. I am trying to be obedient and continue to follow Him despite the fact that I just cannot see Him anywhere, but it is very, very hard. I apologise for such a novella. It’s what I’m struggling with right now in regard to hoping. Thank you again fro sharing how God has blessed you.

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  4. God is a generous and faithful God! I’ve always felt Him catch me just in time…before everything seems to end to nothing. His timing is always perfect and He sees to it EVERY need is taken care of.

    This is a beautiful testament of God’s providence and generosity.

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  5. I believed that God was punishing me in the physical side of my marriage and with all the issues I have had with my body (4 cysts, 1 tumor, 1 case of preeclampsia) because of my past sexual sin. This is something that I continue to struggle with. I often find my mind going to a place of “I am being punished”.

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  6. It’s so hard to trust God with our finances some times–they are so linked to us thinking that we ‘deserve’ money because we work hard and so often we forget that all resources, including money, belong to God.

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  7. And sometimes the struggle to trust comes exactly because He has answered prayers just like you describe. Sometimes you have to go through hurt to get your prayers answered and to give it all up to Him, to say I trust you so much that I want you to hurt me in order to save me (or my kids, or my friend, or my brother, etc). That’s a big one. Thanks for the reminder!

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    • That’s huge! A mentor of mine prays, “God, give me what I need to become the woman you want me to be.” Now THAT is a trusting prayer. Thanks for your comment!

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  8. Pingback: What I Remember When I Feel I Don’t Have Enough | The Toothless Grin

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