Home » motherhood » I’m Giving Up the Normal Life

I’m Giving Up the Normal Life

Jennifer Garner is my new hero. On the Ellen show, she faced rumors concerning her “baby bump” with confidence, poise, and style. Smiling triumphantly, she said,

I do [have a bump]… I am not pregnant. I have had three kids and there is a bump. From now on ladies I will have a bump. And it will be my baby bump. And let’s all just settle in and get used to it. It’s not going anywhere.  I have a bump; it’s name is Violet, Sam, Sera…

(you’ve gotta watch it)  

As I considered the whole New Year’s Resolution thing over the past couple of weeks, I realized a couple of things. Not only did I realize why I would not follow through with my resolution to keep the house clean, but I realized that with many of my ideas I was seeking to become something I’m not: childless.

Topping my list were:

  • Keep a clean house
  • Get rid of baby bump
  • Be more structured and productive with my time
  • Get more sleep

… basically, have the things I had before children. Rewind the clock and become the person I was 7 years ago before my skin stretched, my eyes sagged, and my mind got fuzzy.

But in a moment of peace – while stroking my son’s boyish hair and touching his delicate fingers, after one of his all out blood-curling, screaming, horrendous tantrums – I started wondering, do I really want to take back the last 7 years?

Am I so interested in erasing evidence of my pregnancy, my child rearing, my family that I would dedicate a year to those things?

IMG_20141226_191734

Is what I really need to return to a “normal” life (because that’s how I often think of life pre-children, normal)?

Or can I settle into the life that is? Accepting that I cannot function at the same energy levels I had pre-pregnancy. That now my time and brain are roughly divided between my two littles, my husband, and my pursuits. That doesn’t leave a lot of time for extra things such as working out or cleaning more hours of the week.

Can I finally settle into the reality that I am a mommy? That I am a mommy blogger. That that I cannot expect to have hours of uninterrupted time to myself. That  I will not be a marathon runner, a master crafter, or a foodie-chef. I will not always have the house as clean as I did before Jack was born, and that’s ok. No. That’s fantastic.

Mommy

I will drop everything when my kids bonk their heads playing power rangers.

I will kiss the invisible boo boo on the middle finger that is extended towards my face and giggle incessantly inside.

I will wake up for sickness, bad dreams, nighttime snuggles, and everything in between.

I will tend to my needs within the needs of everyone else. I will take the time I need, but I won’t expect more than I can have.

I will accept these limitations.

I will be content.

After all, I have a baby bump. And its name is Jack and Ben. It’s not going anywhere. So, let’s all settle in and get used to it.

Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. 

-Psalm 127:3

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20 thoughts on “I’m Giving Up the Normal Life

  1. This is SO important, dear Leah! Acceptance of our current reality is the catalyst for making the healthy changes that come when we can adjust our expectations. You begin to figure out how to work around the new reality, and within it, instead of struggling against it. So much more peace comes, as well as creativity and solutions! You will laugh more, enjoy them more, work more on moving toward them with big love, if you are less concerned about making life look like it just doesn’t. This lesson took me about 7 years to sink in as well, and I still need to be reminded regularly, so thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I wish I could stay up late watching reruns and movies! I’ll be doing that when they’re in college for sure. Hang in there, mama! We can make this transition!

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  2. Thanks for those inspiring words of wisdom. I’m just growing my baby bump, but it’s good to have realistic expectations for the future!

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  3. I have a baby bump and their blessed names are: Joseph, 26; Thomas 24; Ian 19; @Alyssa 15; Tirzah 14; Robert 12; and 7 others living with our blessed Lord and Savior in His glory in heaven above. This is excellent article of encouragement for any mommy. Thank you for taking the time to write it.

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  4. Thank you for this. I keep looking at different blogs this week and everyone is talking about how they are making New Year’s resolutions. I never do, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to change things in my life. And my list looks a lot like yours. Lose some weight, get better organized, have more time to write, but I am realizing that I’ve got to make my son and my husband, my friends and extended family, the PEOPLE in my life, the most important thing on the list. And I have a baby bump too! It’s name is Caleb, and hopefully another one sometime in the next year!

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    • Yay for Caleb! I am working to create more time to write, but I also recognize more when that’s not possible. This week, for example! Because my family needs my time and I need to rest to get better from a nasty cold. Having a family limits things, but those limitations aren’t bad is what I’m learning. Thanks for sharing your bump and stopping by!

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